(Barely) Controlled Chaos
by Jennifer Wilson
Summary: Federico wonders why this is his life now. Researching on Flame Tech, tutoring Subject: Civilian Heir, and provoking the World's Greatest Hitman...It's almost like he has a death wish. Hello, Arcobaleno. This guy's got your number!


Prologue:

"I don't want to die." Firo wheezed, even as shots continued to fire about his head. With one hand, he clutched at his throat, where his engagement gift hung from a chain that was specially made for it. "I really don't wanna..."

Above him, the man in glasses smirked, even as he eyed the dying man with contempt.

"So it's true." He adjusted his mask thoughtfully. "Criminals bleat their dirty deeds even to their last moments, but this is probably the first time I've seen one of this line pleading with me to spare him."

"Hahaha." Firo grinned in the face of the Grim Reaper. "I don't want to give up on this yet." His captor's glasses glinted, before a warm glow enveloped them both.

"So this is your will, Sky Arcobaleno? Very well then." The Man in the Iron Hat bent down, extending his hand over Firo's head. "So it shall be."

There was a loud ringing in his ears, and Firo could feel every cell in his body changing, rebelling at what the Man was doing to him-

* * *

 _"Huurrgh._ " Firo sat upright, wheezing as deeply as he did before. "It's the same nightmare again, huh." With one hand, he tapped his screaming alarm clock, while pulling the bed covers off. Stepping off his bed, he slapped his face once, twice, before shuffling into the bathroom.

Firo wiped at his eyes, rubbing at his face with a dampened cloth before sighing as he inspected the laughter lines around his eyes. Geeze, he was getting old. Were he back in-

"Stop right there. What's done been done." Firo grimanced, and turned his mind to other matters instead. Other than the meeting with Karasuma for lunch, he was left with his Fiamma research, and of course, face-time with Tama.

The thought of Tama sent quiet thrills to his heart. Even now, four years after she was born, he still could not get over the fact that he had a daughter. Gods above, he did not think he was capable of producing such a pretty child, with perfect lashes, olive skin inherited from him, and the most lovely blue eyes that her mother had passed down to her.

"Maybe I should ask to FaceTime with her next week. I'm sure I could clear up my schedule for her." His former fiance was all-too willing for their child to have some interaction with the father. They both knew there was no possible way of him meeting his girl, but video conferences were good enough. He wasn't the paternal sort, but he still liked chatting with her every week.

 _Ding!_

"Oh?" Firo looked through his messages. _Let's see, Himeko's kid got into trouble with the authorities again. That freaking kid, and Himeko keeps harping on him to focus on his studies. Can't persuade a Cloud from his territories, eh? Karasuma wants to discuss possible applications of Fiamma tech, but that's no good. Hang on..._ He sent a reply while trudging down the stairs, going into the kitchen while hitting the 'Send' button.

On the window sill sat a plate of lukewarm bread, some _onigiri_ and a note about needing to speak with him later on. Firo hummed in pleasure, even as he sat down to start on his breakfast. _Fiamma Research is still protected under Omerta, can't say too much about it though. Those bastards in bandages would be on my case as soon as I said 'Dying Will', there's got to be a way to earn some cash while researching on the properties of the Pacifier after all._

At mid-day, his smartphone continued to ping incessantly after Firo finished his meeting cum interrogation with his supervisor. Irritated, Firo swiped at the screen, only for the messages to start pouring in.

Help! Some crazy baby came to my house. :(

Don't mind Tsu-kun! I've hired a tutor for him.

"Good for him." Firo muttered under his breath. _Tsuna, despite my coaching, still sees below average grades in his Mathematics and his Science. It would be good for someone who is actively tutoring him._

He says he's from a Mafia! Firo- _sensei,_ please assist! Reborn's trying to kill me!

 _Reborn?_ Firo nearly dropped his phone. _The World's Greatest Hitman? What's he doing here?_

Hang on a sec, what's going on? **:-#** -F

I DUNNO! Wait, hold on, I'll call you!

Firo shook his head. Time for an hour of listening to this whiny brat. Hold on, why was he even listening to this self-absorbed, typical teenager anyway?

* * *

 _"My name is Dame-Tsuna. " Firo's nostrils flared as he continued to read on. "But my mom said that people can change." This poor boy; does he even know what he's writing? Of course he is. Oh my god, this sucks. This sucks so badly. "So when I grow up, I want to be a giant robot."_

 _"GAAH!" The writer of this...depressing essay screeched as he tried to grab the essay, but the man was just too tall for the ten-year old to leap at his hands with ease. Meanwhile, his mother continued chattering away about her 'sweet child, useless Tsuna'._

 _"Firo-san! Please don't read that, it's embarrassing!" Tsuna cried out as he turned towards the sofa, hoping for a better angle at grabbing the incriminating composition away from the man, only for his natural clumsiness to go against him and soon Tsuna bounced off, screaming in horror._

 _Only for the other man to let go of the essay, and prevented Tsuna from falling by grabbing his hand and transferring the momentum to the both of them falling on the sofa. With a quick lunge, Tsuna managed to grab the essay back, and hurriedly crumpled the paper before pushing it down his pocket, away from the older man's hands. Firo ignored it in favor of simply examining Tsuna's face, amber eyes locked with dark brown._

 _This sucks so much. Firo uttered. I really hate this situation so much. Then he muttered a small oath under his breath. Ah my sweet pearl. Please forgive your dad for this; I cannot allow this to continue. "Nana-san. I would like to pay you for cooking my meals." Damn and blast it, this could be going better, but I need to have a reason to visit this household somehow._

 _"In return, I do not mind tutoring young Tsuna in his English." Tsuna's eyes widened in disbelief._

 _"EHH? I thought you said that-"_

 _"I know I know," Firo waved his hands exaggeratedly, "but merely paying Sawada-san-"_

 _"You can call me Nana!"_

 _"Alright then, Nana, a lump sum is not enough, as I am also staying at your house for a period of time, owing to the destructive habitats of a certain Cloudy brat."_

 _"Firo-san, it's no big deal!" Nana quickly interjected, but the man continued._

 _"It is a big deal to me, as I have not gotten a full night's rest since my wife died." Well, this cover identity's wife anyway. The real thing was more complicated. "I appreciate your upcoming efforts; I understand that raising a child is very tiresome; I do not mind teaching your child in return."_

 _"Then arigato, Firo-san." Nana warmly said._

* * *

It was _Firo_ who was the one to start this whole chain of events anyway. As his phone rang, he sighed gustily, before picking up the call.

* * *

Today was Thursday. It was supposed to be a good day!

Mondays were the worst, because it signalled the end of the weekend and the start of a new week of torture. Besides the usual teasing he got, Tsuna had to hand up all of the due homework, which made Sunday nights late, much to the ribbing of his mother. Tuesdays and Fridays were not that bad, as Firo came over and they watched English television together while discussing the show as part of Tsuna's attempts to improve his command.

But Firo-sensei set additional homework as well, and that meant more homework on top of his school work. (When asked, Firo would shrug and say that he needed the additional exercise anyway.) Wednesdays could go either way, because while he was not part of any clubs and could theoretically go home early, there was the singular problem of 'Demon Prefect' Hibari Kyoya coming after his ass for not being an _active_ member as one of Namimori's school rules. Saturdays were the best, but if Tsuna were to pick his favourite weekday, it would be Thursday.

* * *

"TSUNAAA! It is time for an EXTREME workout!" Sawada Tsunayoshi groaned as the cry of Namimori's most extreme student resounded throughout the household.

"Ryohei-nii! You're going to wake up my mother!" This was the third time this week, but Tsuna reluctantly pulled off the covers as Ryohei hollered for him to get up and jog together.

 _It's only 5.30 am, but no doubt Big Brother had already long finished his workout. What time does Ryohei sleep? How does he have so much energy in the morning?_ Tsuna mentally cried to himself as he slipped into the bathroom. Within less than fifteen minutes, Tsuna joined Ryohei on the patio, dressed in his jogging outfit while Ryohei enthusiastically pumped his fists in the air.

"Let's go! Two rounds slow jog around the field!" Tsuna yelped as Ryohei zoomed off, staring in disbelief before hurrying after the older boy.

 _Today's Physical Education lesson is dodgeball. I'm going to be dead on my feet when they start organising us into teams, nevermind the actual lesson itself!_

* * *

Tsuna closed his eyes, almost rolling them in pure annoyance. This again?

"Oi Tsuna! I heard that you lost the dodgeball game for the team!" His classmate Himura hissed as he stepped closer into Tsuna's personal space. Tsuna winced as he leaned away. _Gross, his breath smells like teriyaki chicken!_

"Yeah, even Yamamoto was pitying you after the first match! Well guess what, looks like we'll help to teach you your place! Not so brave now without Namimori's Carnivore, are you!" Tsuna sighed even as some of his bullies continued to jeer at him.

 _Three, two, one._

 _Here he comes now!_

"I'll bite you to death!" Like a herd of sheep, the bullies paled and scattered as the incoming human projectile lurched towards them. Like a black herald of darkness, the rogue leader of Namimori Disciplinary Committee pounced on his unsuspecting prey, tonfas raised in battle position. Amid screams of terror, Tsuna attempted to escape the ongoing melee before he was caught up in it as well.

One step, two steps Tsuna did take, before the distraction proved unsubtle enough. Kyoya caught on; eyebrow raised, he gracefully knocked out Himura with a single blow before pinning Tsuna with a glare.

"Do not escape, small animal." Tsuna whimpered as the Chairman closed in on him. Unlike Himura, Hibari Kyoya brought not a smell, but a depressive, heavy aura that hung around and intensified whenever in a fight. Goosebumps flared across Tsuna's arms as he raised them above his face. With a huff, Kyoya lowered his tonfas, stowing them back into his sleeve before throwing a bundle at him. Tsuna gratefully received the bento that Kyoya brought, and opened it to reveal a simple omelette with rice and some fish in a corner.

"You have one too?" Rather than reply, Kyoya held up a plastic baggie that appeared to have contained many more things before, but only which two onigiri and a wrapped paper package remained. Without a word, Kyoya motioned towards the rooftop.

* * *

"Kusakabe-buchou!" One Disciplinary Committee mook whispered as they watched the two eating together, with Hibari leading the conversation while Tsuna nodded when needed as the Chairman elaborated on Darwin's Evolution Theory. The chairman of Namimori being knowledgable about classification and diversity was hardly informative, but that someone who was not on the Disciplinary Committee but was still standing?

"Sawada Tsunayoshi is an exception to Hibari's classification of the animal kingdom." Tetsuya hissed back. "And the onigiri is a peace offering!"

* * *

Tsuna felt winded after the end of a long school day. Nezu-sensei was afraid of the parental tag team of Firo-sensei and Maman after the last Parent-Teacher's Lesson, so the thrice-accursed teacher had gone after Yamamoto instead. Unfortunately for him, the popular baseball ace had hordes of defenders, and Nezu-sensei was forced to retreat to lick his wounds after one of the baseball teachers-in-charge had reprimanded him for chasing their ace for homework. No one would do that for Tsuna, and thus he had been rendered the main target until Firo-sensei had hijacked the Parent-Teacher session. Tsuna had no idea what had occurred during that session, only that Maman had been slightly discomforted, while Nezu-sensei still seemed to shiver whenever Tsuna's English grades were brought up.

"Tadaima!" He shouted up the hallway as he allowed his bag to drop the floor. As usual, his mother beamed as she popped out of her kitchen.

"Tsu-kun, okaeri!" Maman greeted back. "We have a visitor today!"

"Is it Firo-sensei?" Tsuna hollered back as he closed the door.

"Nope!" Maman wore a not-quite innocent grin, which immediately raised Tsuna's hackles. At the back of his mind, mental-Tsuna panicked, tearing his figurative hair as he ran about while on the outside, Tsuna continued to remain placid, if not calm.

"Tsu-kun..." His mother gained a shifty-eye look. Oh boy. "A home tutor is coming today." There were literally sparkles eminating from her.

"Home tutor!?" Tsuna apprehensively murmured.  
"There was an interesting flyer in the mailbox." His mother whipped out a folded slip of paper, and read it out loud. "'Will raise your kid to be the new leader of the next generation. Grade and subject doesn't matter." Warning bells in Tsuna's mind started ringing incessantly as he stared at Maman in silent horror. _That's a scam if I ever heard one!_

"Don't we have someone already?" Tsuna hastily argued. "Firo-sensei offered to tutor me already!"

"But we mustn't impose on Firo-sensei all the time!" His mother slyly smirked, "After all, he's got his own work to do! It's probably a tutor from a professional business schoool for young men." Maman clasped her hands delightedly, "I've always wanted a teacher like this for you!"

"Don't create your own image of him!" Tsuna felt like face-palming. "I refuse to have a tutor, OK? I'm already happy as I am!"

 _Ding Dong!_

"Ciaossu!" Tsuna turned his head, to find the door that he had recently closed open again to reveal an infant-sized boy _(man, his intuition whispered)_ at their door.

"Hey...whose kid are you?" Even Maman seemed confused at the sight of the baby. Man. Whatever.

"Hm? I'm Reborn, the home tutor." Tsuna spat out his water, while Maman gasped, covering her mouth with her hands.

"I was wondering what kind of person created that bull-shit flyer, it's this baby?" Tsuna snatched the flyer away from Nana, opening it up before pressing it nearly to Reborn's face. _(Bad move, his intuition screamed, abort mission! Abort mission!)_

"So you're Tsuna." The baby glanced up. Tsuna scowled at the dismissive tone.

"I'm sorry but," Tsuna whipped the advertisement away from him in recognition of the warning bells ringing in his head, "There's nothing I can learn from you."

Oof! Tsuna felt his legs give way as the baby drove a kick right into Tsuna's solar plexus. _Hey wait a minute, a baby shouldn't have this kind of strength!_ Tsuna screamed in his head even as the baby dragged him into his room.

"I don't know where you come from," Tsuna started, once he had sufficiently recovered to sit up again, "What was that about!" He glanced at the snooze bubble emitting from Reborn's bubble. _He's asleep?_ Warning bells rung in his head again, and he managed to dodge the lunge towards his head, only for his school tie to end up getting grabbed.

With a simple flick, Tsuna was turned over sideways, and slammed onto the floor. Tsuna whimpered as he tried to creep away from the strange baby. _No, this was no ordinary kid._

"I have no openings." The baby-sized...person slapped his fingers as though to brush some invisible lint away. "My true line of work is assassination." Without so much as a look, Reborn whipped out his case, took out some parts, and assembled them into a shotgun.

"My real job is to make you a mafia boss."

"Wha!? A mafia boss?" Tsuna shrieked in disbelief.

"I was assigned by a certain man to train you to become an astounding mafia boss." Reborn continued as he aimed the _shotgunatTsunahey wait!_

"Don't shoot me! Hey!" Tsuna backed away. This...man in the shape of a baby was trying to kill him!

"But not now." Reborn's stomach rumbled. "Later." Reborn slammed the door behind him.

Hey hey hey. Tsuna thought inwardly, this guy is almost as crazy as Kyoya on a bad day! I can't leave Maman with him alone! Tsuna dashed out of the room, hoping to call Firo-sensei, if not Hibari-sempai to come in and look at the creepy baby-sized hitman.

* * *

"Maman, stay outside, I'll ask..." Tsuna paused, unable to believe the sight that met his eyes. Reborn the hitman was sitting at the high-seat reserved for Tama when she ate at their house, while his mother was at the same table taking her meal together with him.

"The contract states that Reborn-kun will live here until your grades go up." Maman happily beamed while Tsuna's skin crawled in horror. This unnatural kid was going to live with them?

"You've got to be kidding!" Tsuna shrieked as he backed out of the door. If the phone wouldn't work, then Hibari-san was a few streets away, he'll ask her for help then! Running out of the house, he bumped into _Kyoko._

"Wah, Kyoko!" _This is bad. If the baby hitman got her, then Ryohei will never forgive me. If Ryohei doesn't forgive me, then he won't ever speak to me again and I'll be alone...Let's not go_ that _far._

"Kyaa, how cute." As the baby-sized hitman greeted her, Tsuna turned his head towards the place where Hibari-san lived with Kyoya. No good! I have to get a distraction. Ah, but Big Brother did tell me that Kyoko hates seniors bullying the juniors, and if Kyoya comes out than Kyoko would be even more angry and Ryohei even more angry and...

"Well good luck. Bye bye."

"Ciao Ciao." As Kyoko walked away, Tsuna inwardly heaved a sigh of relief. Crisis averted for now. Now if only this baby goes away, then everything will be back to normal.

"Mafia Seduction." _Oh no. I don't care if you're a hitman, either way the age gap between you and her is way too large for any form of seduction to be good!_

"You have a crush on that girl don't you, Tsuna?" Reborn smirked as Tsuna grew flustered with the thought.

"Is that any of your business!?" Not that it isn't true, Tsuna thought, _but if I were to ever date her, I will have to go through Big Brother first!  
_ The rumbling image of Ryohei popped into Tsuna's mind, and he shuddred at the thought.

"I've mastered the art of mind reading."

"That's enough of you Reborn...san, kun, I don't know how you ended up here. But just leave me alone!" Tsuna roared the last few words. Tsuna knew it was very unethical to yell at babies; if Firo-sensei ever caught him, there would be _words._ Then, another round of warning signs, and Tsuna was quick enough to side-step Reborn the unnatural baby. With a 'tch', the so-called hitman twisted his arm around his back anyway.

"...That loser complex is amazing." Was that baby still speaking? Tsuna's eyes widened as he found the gun being directed at his head.

"You'll know when you die." A shot fired.

* * *

With a charge, Sawada Tsunayoshi stood up, clad in briefs. However, to Reborn's slightly confused eyes, rather than charging heedlessly towards the object of his crush, Dame-Tsuna had put on his clothes while muttering under his breath just why had he taken them out in the first place, before calmly walking off in the other direction.

"Leon, transform." With a whisk, the shape-changing chameleon changed into a skateboard which Reborn rode on as Tsuna walked through the streets away from both Sasagawa Kyoko the school idol and the Sawada family home. Instead, they stopped right outside a traditional Japanese mansion, with schoolboys in traditional kimonos and a Japanese garden with...are those Yakuza?

"I wish to speak to Hibari-san." The Dying-Will Flame was still blazing on his head, so Tsuna's mind was still fixed on the last thought of his mind. Evidently, telling his crush was not as important as what they were doing now, though Reborn did not understand why Tsuna wanted to speak to the Chairman of Namimori Discipline Committee. From reports by Vongola, though they had an acquaintance, the older boy was still willing to beat Tsuna up if he found him lacking, but then again, a Cloud rarely made distinctions between friend and foe when they were younger.

 _So it's that kind of family._ Reborn thought to himself in a mix of humor and horror as what could be Fon's female clone eyed him with dismay.

"Hibari-san." The flame smothered, and Tsuna blinked once, twice before screeching and then continuing in a nonsensical stream of words that made absolutely no sense to Reborn's trained ear.

"You are making a noise, Sawada Tsunayoshi." With that polished tone, Tsuna shut his mouth.

"Good. Now, what explain in a lower tone, and slower."

"Hibari-san. You told me that if there was someone disturbing me, I would bring it to you or Firo-sensei's attention." Reborn hurriedly interjected at that.

"Madam, I am merely carrying out my duty-"

"Silence. I did not ask you to speak yet. Continue, Tsuna." A previously Fon-like face had warped into a resting homicidal psychopath before returning to its original calm state, causing Tsuna to scoot a few steps away. With a huff, Leon transformed back into his original form and slithered back onto Reborn's hat. Reborn snorted. It appeared that Fon's ability to go from a peaceful eye to a raging storm was inherited together with his looks, if this woman and Hibari Kyoya's reputation were to be believed.

"Well, this guy came in with some bullshit advertisement, said that he was going to train me to be a mafia boss-" Tsuna's tone wavered, "And he tried to seduce Sasagawa Kyoko!"

So that was what was going through Tsuna's mind? Looks like he was less useless than what Iemitsu had concluded. Reborn 'tched'. As much as his lauded skills were, he did not possess full knowledge of the situation. It would have to be remedied through further observation.

"Hmm. Hitman Reborn, what about your side of this tale?" Hibari Himeko smiled not so genially as her eyes narrowed.

"Omerta."

"Well two can play at that game. If you involve the civilians in your game, then I would be forced to intervene. I dare say that my cousin would be annoyed that someone of the world he travels in appears in Namimori where his family resides; to say the least of my little kitten." A murmur of _kitten?_ caused Hibari the elder to sharply glance at Tsuna.

There _is_ a loophole in that. They can't be civilians if they were part of Tsuna's family, and the way Reborn saw it, Hibari Kyoya would make an excellent Cloud Guardian. Though Fon would certainly be angry that his cousin is part of the mafia. Reborn's mind hastily paced through its steps. It was likely that false information was deliberately spread by Fon and this woman from the Chinese Triads to protect their clan from Vongola eyes. Very well, then let their resources be part of Tsuna's wing once he joined.

Out loud, he agreed, and while Tsuna was reassured that Firo-sensei (Aged 42. Rumour has it that Vindice employs him, but others describe him as possibly part of the Japanese Ministry of Defence. Definitely a concern, if not a liability) would be informed, the two were escorted towards the Sawada family home by two pompadour heads.

Middle-schoolers having control over Yakuza. That would be useful.

* * *

"I can't believe Hibari-san just let you go like that." Tsuna exclaimed once back in his room. "What was that anyway?" Because like her son, Kyoya's mother was rather overprotective to a fault to people she found interesting. While gaining her attention led to others bullying him for lack of a better target, one of the chief benefits was that the Hibari family tended to look after their own. Reborn, were he a true threat, would have been mercilessly slaughtered by Kyoya. (Later, he would bash his head against the door frame for that thought.)

"This bullet is the dying will bullet. A person that is shot with this bullet will resurrect with dying will after dying." Reborn held up one. "Your dying will is based on what you are regretting when you die."

"What? Wait, if I wasn't regretting anything...I would have died?" Tsuna freaked out. This was way too similar to that time...Wait a second...

"Dying will means your body is in..." As Reborn continued to blither on, Tsuna started to doze off. (In his defense, he was exhausted after a long day, and skipping dinner probably wasn't the best idea...)

"...through the Vongola family." Tsuna's thought processes restarted as slammed to a halt.

"I was assigned by the Vongola family's 9th generation boss to come to Japan and raise you to become a mafia boss." Wasn't that...hold on...hold on...

"Vongola the Ninth is getting old and he was planning on passing on the boss status to the tenth generation." That sounds familiar...

"But the most qualified of the tenth generation, Enrico was shot in a feud." HOLY. Tsuna yelped in dismay as Reborn held out a photograph of the dead man having had his brains blown out. That's terrible. I did not think that people look like that after being shot, was I in a similar position?

"The young number two, Massimo, was drowned." The glazed eyes of the second son stared out as Tsuna shivered. That's so wrong...

"The favourite child, Federico, was found reduced to bone." Tsuna felt... _disappointed_ by the skull and bones left lying on what seemed like an idyllic countryside. Which was wrong because men are not reduced to bone just in a span of a few weeks naturally. Somehow, the whole story stinks of a cover-up.

 _(This sounds like someone was actively killing the Vongola heirs; I could be next.)_

"You don't have to keep showing them!" Tsuna shrieked in dismay.

"So the only candidate left to be the tenth is you." What kind of life is that? Y _ou either kill or be killed? And since the rest of them are dead, I'm the only one left?_ As Reborn continued to point down the line of succession _(aged with coffee, done by someone with a lousy streak of humour)_ Tsuna's mind continued to pour out with counter-arguments against succeeding to a mafia head.

"Blahblahblah...If you interrupt my sleep you'll die." Reborn, suddenly dressed in a pair of pajamas curled up in his hammock, while Tsuna suddenly realised his entire bedroom was surrounded with traps.

"Don't set traps in the house! And don't sleep in my bed!" As Tsuna slipped around the traps, his mind was firmly focused on getting answers later. Those pictures look familiar...Need to ask Firo-sensei later...

* * *

The next morning, Tsuna arrived to see the whole class in an uproar.

"Confession of love!" _Waaah!_ Mental-Tsuna shrieked. _What's going on!_

"Idiot Monkey." Kurokawa Hana perched herself on Tsuna's desk as the boy collapsed with a groan. "Mochida-senpai is avenging the disrespect you treated Kyoko to." She twitched her hands in open and close quotes.

"What? Hana, what's going on?" One of the few girls who were semi-nice (or were at least indifferent to him), Hana rarely got this jovial unless something had gone wrong for him.

"He says 'I won't forgive the guy who made Kyoko cry!' Seriously, who posts a poster like that?" Hana pointed to the school noticeboard, where written in bright pink letters was...

 _I love Kyoko Sasagawa ~by Tsunayoshi Sawada._

"You even got a pre-school kid to come round and pin this up before class! Everyone was so shocked!" As Tsuna stared in absolute dismay, one single cry rang throughout the room.

"To the dojo! Let's go watch Tsuna!" It had to be Reborn! _That hitman pretended to be a student! He's using this to embarass me!_ ARGH! Tsuna could do nothing as the class marched off to the dojo, lifting him above their heads. _What is he trying to do by pinning up such a fake confession!_

"God may forgive a piece of shit like you, but I won't! I shall smite you!" Mochida shouted down the rest of the noisy crowd as Tsuna was unceremoniously deposited onto the dojo floor. _Wait a minute! I wasn't even the one who wrote that confession! I can't believe everyone is behaving like this!_

"You're a novice at kendo. So if you can get an ippon off me, then you win! If you can't. Then I win." Tsuna's eyes twitched in barely withheld irritation. This feeling was starting to be too familiar for Tsuna's comfort.

"The prize is of course, SASAGAWA KYOKO!" If someone were to look at Tsuna closely, they would see him shiver.

"Prize?" Tsuna echoed Kyoko's scream, only in a different tone and attitude. His eyes shadowed, Tsuna quietly moved to one side.

"You can't treat a girl like that as a prize, Mochida-senpai." Broken from his gleeful thoughts, Mochida stared at the younger teenager as he lifted the wooden sword. _I knew it. The shinai that Mochida has prepared is weighted, and probably the armor as well. The judge is probably on Mochida's side. I have no chance of winning._

As Firo-sensei put it, _sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will hurt anyone._

"You seemed to have a few things unclear." Tsuna raised his head, and a sunny, calm smile spread across his face. It was peaceful, even as he let go of the wooden sword, only to shove it into one of the kendo club members. With a groan, the member collapsed, wheezing with effort as the surrounding students gasped.

"You do not treat a girl as a prize. Kyoko is a person who is valued by those she holds dear, including Big Brother, whom I jog with every other morning. However, besides being in the same leadership camp, do you spend time with Kyoko outside class? Whereas I frequently eat breakfast at Kyoko's house, yet I have not confessed to her a single time while I was there. So why do you think that this confession was by me?" He spoke in a chilling tone, as Hana clapped her hands in awe while widespread whispering broke out throughout the crowd.

"They are not objects. They are people with their own thoughts. If Kyoko did like you, she would have told you. And rumors are baseless in the face of hard evidence. Please target your attentions on Kyoko, and not me."

"Furthermore, **you are crowding**." With a flutter of not-quite-wings-but cloth, the Skylark of Namimori Middle alighted in the centre of the dojo. Everyone hurriedly backed away, with only Mochida and his kendo club members standing their ground.

"For the offence of truancy, and of starting fights within school grounds, you shall be bitten to death!" In the uproar that followed, Hana tugged Kyoko out of the group, while the student body retreated en masse.

"Just like you!" Mochida burst out as those who had been cheering for him backed away from a seemingly volatile black mass known as Hibari Kyoya. "You always ride on the Skylark's coat tails, and afterwards everyone gets scared of you just because you have Kyoya at your back!"

"Go chairman!" The referee yipped, before cowering as Kyoya gave him an unimpressed glare.

"You appear to be mistaken." Tsuna tilted his head. _(Always gets the ladies smitten, that head tilt. Makes you look cool!)_ "Why do you think Kyoya likes me so much? After all, I have not broken any rules. Nor have I fought in the school before. So, tell me this, Mochida-senpai." Tsuna purred.

 **"Why is Kyoya, as you put it, at my back?"**

For the finishing touch, Tsuna stared deeply into Mochida's eyes, and grinned with teeth. _(Show your aggression. It's a trait of the animal kingdom)_. Mochida fainted.

"Drama-queen." Tsuna restrained himself from rolling his eyes. "You should have done this earlier. It's less troublesome." Kyoya pointed out. "Can we spar?"

"No! Absolutely not!" Tsuna found himself arguing. "I refuse to fight you! I don't want to end up like Firo-sensei's former house!"

"Tch. Fine. I'll meet you at your house later then."

"My home is also not an option!" Kyoya ignored that and proceeded to wash his hands entirely by walking off. The class watched in outright disbelief as Tsuna huffed, before turning to Kyoko.

"...Sorry for thinking that the poster was you." Tsuna sighed, raking his hands through his head.

"Listen, I wasn't planning to embarrass you, Kyoko." He tiredly said. It had been a long night dodging the various bombs positioned throughout his room, and he had not gotten a good night's sleep. ( _Sneak attack, his intuition hissed in his ear. It was far too late for that.)_

"Do it with your dying will!" Oh no. Ohnonono, Reborn-! "REBORN! CONFESS WITH MY DYING WILL!" Tsuna jumped out of his clothing and briefly flashed Kyoko and Hana _(who tittered. He was more built than previously expected!_ ) before sighing and putting the shredded remains of his clothes back.

"I LIKE YOU VERY MUCH KYOKO! BUT I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE ME, BUT CAN WE BE FRIENDS?" The dying will flame smoldered out, causing Tsuna to blush. Kyoko blushed as well.

Sitting in a corner, Reborn felt disgusted as the two shyly talked about their feelings. And Hana dragged them out before things got weird. Eurgh.

* * *

"Okaeri!" Tsuna was once again winded. Even if he hadn't exactly fought Mochida, carrying that weighted wooden sword one-handed, before proceeding to confess to Kyoko (His ears felt hot at the thought of that) was more tiring, and he slept through English. Kyoya had extracted his pound of flesh after school, catching Tsuna just outside his house and proceeding to spar. All under the eyes of Reborn. The interfering brat ( _Tsuna still could not decide what he was, so brat it was. He'll find something worse to describe him later with)_ had sat on his head and ordered him around like a bloody horse.

Meanwhile, there was still something to solve about what Reborn had said the other day. Vongola? Three sons? He did not want to get himself killed, thank you very much. If only Reborn would leave him alone, then everything would be fine. Okay. He would grow up, get into Namimori High, maybe enter a second-rate university, and then graduate to be a salary worker supporting his mother and marry someone. Anyone.

Hmm, it's Friday. Firo-sensei should be free right about now...

* * *

"So you panicked over this?" Firo arched an eyebrow even as he continued to scribble on his notepad. _Let's see, it's more likely that there could be properties of the hexagon arrangement, but was there a need for the material to be conducive?_ As Firo scrambled for an eraser, he shivered at the hand resting on his shoulder.

"Your progress?" The owner of that cold hand whispered in his ear. Firo barely restrained a shiver; instead, he stood up and waved a hand over the golden jar.

"That's better progress than I expected." The Man in the Iron Hat commented as he inspected the Sky Pacifier floating within. "Who provided the flames?

"I used the _Fiamma_ Aggregator that Himeko's contacts provided me from the Bovino Famiglia, but there would be an additional element needed to accelerate the flames production. Currently, I'm using Cloud Flames to maintain its propagation rate, but I require more Sky Flames to top it up and thus the Sky Pacifier has to be studied further." The Man in the Iron Hat made a grunt, before vanishing in an outburst of Mist Flames.

"That was too close for comfort." Firo wiped away at the cold sweat coating his cheek. "I really need to be more aware of what's going on-" He looked at the clock, and swore as he deftly pulled on his coat.

"Tsuna and his damn tutor." Firo snorted, as he traced a pattern in the air, creating a mild illusion. "There we go!"

Afternoon, Sawada Household

"Firo-sensei!" Tsuna gratefully rushed for the door, keeping an eye out for the crazy tutor-hitman. Reborn was giving the same amount of concern to the door as he did to Tsuna: that is, a cursory but objective glance.

"Tsunayoshi, thank you." Firo-sensei's crisp foreign tone echoed throughout the house as he stepped in, dressed in dress pants and long-sleeved shirt. Reborn hopped down from the sofa chair. To Tsuna's surprise, Firo did not react except for a slight widening of eyebrow before he greeted the baby.

"You are Tsuna's English tutor?" Reborn questioned as they went up the stairs.

"Yes. You are Tsuna's live-in tutor then?" Firo affirmed and responded with another question. "That's good. Has Nana-san showed you Tsuna's latest grades yet."

"Disappointing." Reborn grunted, and Tsuna groaned. The fact that he was barely passing was primarily due to Firo-sensei, and Reborn had crudely dismissed it? Wait, why hadn't Firo even called out the fact that a baby was tutoring him in Math? Was it pure shock? Or that a baby could be better in Math compared to Tsuna himself?

"I think that Tsuna has put in much effort in his work, yes." Firo said, as the two of them walked into Tsuna's bedroom. Tsuna had been just about to follow them right in, when the door abruptly closed.

Then, gunshots were heard.

 _Firo-sensei's in danger!_ Tsuna slammed against the door, but it held firm.

 _What's going on in there?_ Tsuna leaned against the doorframe, ears to the keyhole.

 _"I never ******* I'll meet you *****, Reborn. What a lousy spot to work in, arara~_ " Firo commented, even as he dodged the lead bullet.

 _"I never would have ******* of you._ " Tsuna's brow frowned in thought as he tried to translate whatever conversation they were holding.

" _You do realise what this means to my *******, right?"_ Reborn seemed to be referring to something. His family? Tsuna?

"I completely understand. Cards on the table, including for our eavesdropper outside." The door opened, and Tsuna yelped as he slipped, falling down through the doorway to meet the floor.

"Dame-Tsuna, get up." Reborn fired a bullet at him, causing Tsuna to scramble to his feet even as Firo motioned him to his bed. Firo sat on the study chair, while Reborn perched himself on top of his hammock.

There, they stared at one another wordlessly until Tsuna cleared his throat.

"Firo-sensei, do you know Reborn?" Tsuna finally spoke, breaking the minutes of silence as Reborn fished the folder and started flipping through the pages. Finally, he held out one photograph, handing it to Tsuna. The pile of bones with skull caused Tsuna to shiver as Firo sighed yet again.

"Doesn't look a thing like me, does it?" Firo said, propping his chin up on one hand.

Tsuna's brain stopped functioning for one moment, looking from one picture, then to the man in front of him. Then back again.

"EHHHHH?"


End file.
